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Friday, January 28, 2011

First Impressions - April 2010

Well, I don't even know where to friggen start! The airport I guess. Got off the plane and streched out soon as I walked off. Just like my dad does before a big race. Everyone was staring but I was so cramped up. I basically sprinted down the long hallway to get down the baggage area. When I walked off the plane I couldn't see Mitch. Started to freak a little thinking they forgot me. Not that it would of been a big deal, I always cab it to the hostel anyways. Then I seen this small tanned street kid in a cute orange dress.. It was Maria! God love her for coming. Its nothing better than getting off a plane and having friends there to greet you. It is a good feeling.

She didn't come alone either. She brought two friends, who both wore no shoes. I can't imagine going into an airport with no shoes on. No matter what airport im in. Maybe after this summer i'll be walking around barefoot like pocahontas too. Maria had brought two hostel boys with her named David and Alex. David was a cute Mexican from Texas and Alex was a hot Austrailian. They got my bags and we walked outside and the sun hit my face and I was loving life! We walked to this blue ghetto van. It was full of stickers and looked like a decent van from the outside. Like it wasn't a 92 or anything it was like a 04. But when we opened it up it was someones home! That someone was Maria. I swear there was seats in the very back and the rest of it was clothes, a guitar, school books, etc. Just random stuff you would find in someones apartment was all squat into this hippie van. When I got in I instantly looked for the kitchen in the van but that was the one thing it was missing. However, there was so old pretzels I was sitting on I guess I could of eaten. I decided it was best if i never. We get to the hostel and who is one of the first people I see. Jesus, also known as lazlo my drug dealer. Mmmm was it fate? Im going to say it was God's way of telling me it was okay to get fucked up on my first night back in town.

After checking in and seeing a bunch of familiar faces it was time to party. With Lazlo it's always a run around to try and get jam. Hes not the big guy he has to go through 2 other guys to get it. Which is not an effective way of getting coke, ill start looking elsewhere later. I take out 250$ with all intentions to sniff all of it that night. Everyone seemed to be pretty game for it. We played beer pong at the hostel, still no Mitchel. He wasn't even staying at the hostel apparently, but his bags were. I keep hearing everyone talking about some Katie prostitute hes with. I cant believe they even let a prosy stay at the hostel! Thats so fucked up! Gross. I wonder if she looks like a hooker. I cant wait to see this chick. Everyone at the hostel is surprised to even see me without my faithful Mitchel at my side. But Maria is already going to be my new best friend here I can tell. She was Mitchels new wife when I left, so I guess they kinda got divorced when he went on his drug binge. So after 3 drinks (more like before I had any drinks) I was ready for some lines. David and I kept sneaking up in one of the rooms doing lines. Almost getting busted overtime but some random who was staying there. Finally we wanted to go to the bars which is literally down the road from the hostel. I had all intentions of going with everyone but seen Maria and we decided to get in the van and cruise around. Alex was sitting on the hostel steps and said he would come too. Then once we piled in I didn't really want or need anyone else to come too. Thats one more nose as me and Vic used to say. But Little David seen us jumping in the van and wanted to come as well, which I was fine with cause hes pretty cool. So we piled in and cruised around Ocean Beach for a while. Theres so many good radio stations here. Not like the one radio station we have in newfie. After a while of driving around it would of been nice to go somewhere. Then I remembered! Lazlo asked me to put a hotel room on my credit card for him in exchange for coke. Great idea! He couldn't stay in his old room because he was afraid someone was going to come beat him up. So he gave me that key instead. So I told the gang to go to Hotel Circle cause I had a hotel room there. Hoping some random sketchy character wouldn't show up and beat us all up. We went in the room and we had gone and got booze and just slayed it. I had 3 back up bags of coke to surprise everyone with, which I love doing. So overtime they would think we ran out and get sketchy I would just whip one out of my bra. The 4 of us had some fucking intense conversations. It was so good man. We all had so many stories to tell about who we were, stories that defined us, and just random coked out stories. Everyones stories were so interesting, I didn't have to pretend to be interested at all. Alex the aussy literally was in the army but never did any training and just sat down doing video games for 3 months getting paid for it. And almost got away with it. This Maria chick, who I used to be kinda jealous over for taking my place with MItchel, was an around the world cruise for school. Can you imagine doing a semester at sea? That is so awesome, I didn't even know that kind of thing existed. Goes to show how sheltered you are living on a rock. After telling what felt like hundreds of stories we decided to go in the outdoor jacuzzi. Which was closed. Do we care? Course not. We hoped a fence, which I did so ungracefully it was ridiculous. Then Alex tried to catch me, even more embarrassing. Probably should of stuck to some sort of diet before going skinny dipping with hot boys. Got in the hot tub and kept trying to chain smoke and forgetting I was smoking and dropping my cigerettes in the hot tub. Idiot. Then a security car flew around the side of the hotel. Just like a cop in a high speed race. It didn't take us long to jump out throw on some clothes and race back to our hotel room like scardey cats. Once we got in the room it was almost day light out anyways. The night was wicked. The only thing that kinda bothered me was everyone kept saying its up to me to save Mitchel from his drug binge. I don't know what all those retards were really thinking. How the hell am I going to stop him. I only met him a couple weeks before everyone else. Annnnd I have my own drug addiction im working on. Not that I was broadcasting that around, I would just smile and say "Yeah of course i'll save him". I don't even think hes that bad, the few times I talked to him on the phone he seemed ok and that everyone was over exaggerating the situation. I don't know, I guess i'll have to see for myself.

Around 5am we called it quits and tried to go to sleep. Alex and I ended up in one bed with Little David and Maria in the other. MMmmmmm how did that happen. I really don't think I even planned to take advantage of Alex. But after all of us talking in bed trying to remind ourselves that drugs are bad and we don't need anymore, we starting hooking up. He has a great body and a pretty big dick. I kept saying no cause I felt awkward with two almost strangers in the bed next to me that could look over and watch me have sex. But the only way I can go to sleep after a coke night is usually morphine (kidding) or an orgasm. So after that rationalization in my head we went in the bathroom and just fucked in there. It was quite good too, didn't last too long just the write amount of time before I got all weird and tweaky. So we climbed back in bed, just as I start finally falling asleep with my mouth wide open and drool everywhere the other two decided to get up. We probably would of had to check out of the hotel soon anyways. So up we got and walked out to the van. The sun was shining in full affect. Ahhhh why do I drugs? I kept asking myself. Worst feeling ever is the next morning. When you don't really sleep. So much for not spending any money lol. I kept trying to remind myself it was a good time and my first night so fuck it, who cares. Im on vacation bitches!!! So we got back to the hostel all looking like greasers who all needed a good nose blowin' and a great toothbrushin. I crawled up in my single bed, where 6 of my roomates were getting up, looking at me like I had 10 heads, in the same outfit as the night before looking broken. Goodnight guys I said as I closed my small curtain around my single bed that i barely fit in. Great first impression.

A New Beginnning - April 2010

So excited to be on the plane to San Diego. The last plane ride till I finally get to see everyone again. I worried about whats going to happen with Mitchel and I, after all the phone calls i've been getting about him being on a drug rampage in Tijuana, I probably shouldn't even be going here. As long as we go to Vancouver and work out asses off and make lots of money I will be happy. My saving grace for this whole trip was the 15 000$ line of credit I was able to get out before leaving. If I didn't have that I would of been a goner. The whole point of me getting it was to pay off my 8000$ credit card and it would be a lower interest rate. I had good intentions I really did. Its too bad I decided to be a drug dealer before I left. That tacked on an extra 4000$ that I didn't need to spend the month before I left. Although I had lots of fun sniffing my way through that money. When I get to San Diego i'm definitely going to lay off spending so much money on coke. I wasted enough the past few months I don't need to waste to anymore when i'm there.
Theres a massive man about 5'5 and 290 pounds sitting next to me. Im not a small girl by any means, some people even refer me to being large and in charge. But this seating arrangement is definitely not working for me. I can hardly type because my tree trunk arms can hardly move being squished by his arms. He has his headphones in and hes so totally absorbed in Titanic on his movie screen. I was brutally awakened when Rose got on the life boat with her mother. My chair started vibrating, I thought for a second I was home in bed with my vibrator till i opened my eyes. This man is breaking his heart crying. God love him. I cry at that part overtime I watch this movie too, which is definitely over 100 times. The plane is landing in about 35 minutes. Im getting so squirmy I cant wait to get up and stretch, I have to pee as well but i'm not going to ask the man to move, I wouldn't want to cause a big disturbance especially cause hes so into his movie. Now that I think about it I don't even know who is picking me up from the airport. Mitchel knows im flying in this time and so does Maria so i'm hoping one of them remember to get me. Cant wait to see that damn sunshine and feel the heat! I will try and write frequently while im here so I don't forget any important/funny memories.. I wonder if i'll get a boyfriend this summer, and I wonder how much money i'm going to be able to make before going home. I want like 20 000$ in my bank by the time I go home in August so I can pay for school and have money for frequent vacations. Instead of working a bunch of jobs while i'm school like I always do. Ugh which reminds me I cant believe I blew off my Communications final exam. Who does that? I paid Vic in blow to do half my assignments and bought the rest of them online. All that hard work gone to waste cause i'm an idiot and decided to go on a bender before the exam.
Ok folks, we are landing and the laptop has to be put away. When titanic was over the man apologized for being such a girl. He had a really high pitched voice, I figured it would be so deep. I almost giggled when he first spoke. But how cute, at least hes in touch with his feminine side.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Mushroom Balls

Since I've been home my life has been totally boring. Its only been 2 weeks but it went from one extreme to the other. I've been spending most of time working and some of my time trying to figure out my school work. I've seemed to let myself slip so far behind in school that it almost seems impossible to catch up. Well if I put the work in im sure I could, but that's my problem. I decided to drop one of courses and im going to try really hard to catch up in the other 4. If I have to lose 10% of every course then so be, I can't live in Newfoundland any longer, I need to graduate so I can move far far away. My goal is to not take any more trips until I lose 35lbs. Seems fair enough. I'm overweight, constantly being unhappy with how I look and feel, so why should I keep treating myself with vacations? When it comes down to it I dont even want to put the pictures up afterwards cause I dont look good in them. So my new motivation is when I lose 35lbs thats when I can go on a trip. I will feel so much better with how I look, then things will get even wilder as my new figure gets even better im sure. Cause we all know that no man likes a fat girl.

Its Thursday night, I have to work Friday at 12pm. Then again at 7pm and back to back for the entire weekend. So that is one weekend crossed off the books. Being lame is getting old real quick, I think it's time for a few drinks. Vic, Erin, Eddy and myself decide that it would be a great night to go to dinner and get drunk. Once I get to Eddys we immediately start drinking heavy quickly. The diet was thrown out the window, especially when Brian broke out some chocolate covered peanut butter balls. He started passing them around to us, then mentioned that they also had shrooms in them. One of the few drugs i've never tried. Everyone else had tried them before so they jumped right in, I was a little reluctant at first, but soon as the chocolate hit my lips I couldn't wait to gobble up some more. When in Rome right? I only ate half of one, everyone was warning me to be a little cautious just in case. That was fine, there was no immediate affect. We polished off the rest of our drinks and called a cab to take us to The Gypsy Tea room. The cab ride got a little more interesting.

Erin decided to start using funny voices and calling herself Asmerelda. Then she would burst out in a fit of giggles. I didn't even feel very fucked up at this point but I still couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous she was being. It was only a short cab ride and we were there. Soon as we went in to put our coats in I realized the my mouth was frozen in a smile. I looked the joker, I could not wipe the goofy look off my face if my life depended on it. Luckily Vic and Erin were both the same way, we all resembled creepy clowns at the table. When the waiter came over to introduce himself and tell us the specials things got really inappropriate. It wouldn't of been so bad if we were at Boston Pizza or Jungle JIm's. However the gyspy tea Room had loads of people there and we just looked like total idiots. "Hey guys my name is.... The specials are... Do you mind if I slip these glasses right here?". "You can slip whatever you want in". Did I really just say that to the waiter? His face started turning a scarlet red, I looked around the table to see everyone trying not to lose it laughing. I think I really did say it out loud. He continued reeling off his specials, looking rather uncomfortable, while i held the menu up to my face and continue laughing for a full 3 minutes without stopping. Just like any 8 year old child would do. To make matters worse I had my old basketball coach and his family sitting behind me the whole time, I quite obviously avoided any type of eye contact with them. They could definitely hear the entire embarrassing conversation and my constant laughtur which was booming through the restaurant.

The food was ordered. The hard part was over. Now lets go outside for a smoke. We all got our coats and went outside and just erupted in more laughter for no reason at all. It was snowing quite a bit at this point so everyone went back inside to stay warm. I did not want to part with my smoke until it was all finished so Vic was kind enough to wait outside with me. It gets a little blurry at this point. I just remember leaning against the wall with a smoke in my hand laughing so hard I though I was going to throw up. Vic was pretty much in the exact same position. We stayed like this for a good 4 to 5 minutes. My entire smoked had been burned up without me taking all but one puff out of it. We attracted quite some attention. I looked across the street to see people stopped just staring over our way. Obviously this encouraged us to continue to laugh hysterically and more and more guys just showed up out of no where staring over. A couple of them called something out but the wind was blowing hard and I couldn't hear anything over mine and Vic's laughter. Finally people inside the restaurant started looking out to see what the ordeal was, so Vic and I decided to pretend that our dog just died and walk back in. I managed to keep my laughing under control for 30 seconds as I walked to my seat as lady like as possible. After we had killed a bottle of wine and were on our second one we decided to head to the washroom because our food was almost ready. Once again my memory is slightly hazy, but 3 of us walked into the tiny 2 stall bathroom, and Erin ripped a piece of the door off her stall. Vic was already sitting on the toliet with her door open erin laid the door down and got on the toilet and 3 of us just shierked in laughter. We were banging on the walls, stomping our feet, it was a feeling of euphoria that i've never felt before. I was in total and complete happiness and then I felt it. I was croched against the sink and wall and I couldn't stop the pee from shooting out. I had on a long button up purple dress with black leggings so it wasn't to much of a disaster. I still don't understand why no employee came into the bathroom to tell us to shut up because we were howling in there. If someone had walked in and seen Vic on the can with her legs spread, Erin on the can with the piece of the door in her arms and me crouched on the floor wishing I was on the can but still urinating none the less, all of this plus ecstatic laughter from three of us. They would of probably called the police because they would of thought we were clinically insane. I felt clinically insane I know that much.

The rest of dinner continued on much the same. I didn't eat hardly any of my meal cause I couldn't swallow because I couldn't stop laughing. It was a waste really. By the time we were all done, the bill was paid, we decided before going to Eddys we would make a pit stop at the strip club. We got bundled up and walked through the snow up to the Cotton Club. Once we got inside I didn't feel quite so giddy anymore. I'd say 60% of it had worn off. Which was probably a good thing because the place was crawling with hot military men from America. My speciality. I scanned the room and sure enough spotted a few of the black ones, theres always a few of them. There was one exceptionally hot one there, wearing an identical outfit I had bought Jake just a couple weeks before. He had a perfect body, great face and nice smile. He looked like a winner. We briefly made eye contact and I looked away first then ventured over to the bar to get a drink. Ten seconds later who was at the bar but my new black boyfriend. He kept smiling and looking over so I decided I would start the conversation. I asked him where he was from, what he was doing here, how long was he staying, etc. The answers sounded strangely familiar. He was from Florida, was in the air force, just got back from Iraq, only here for one night, etc. Exact same answers that I got a month ago from Gary. Once my drink had arrived I went back to my seat to watch some of the girls I serve at work strip for me.

Matt was constantly looking over and trying to make eye contact with me but I continued to ignore him until everyone started getting restless and wanted more shrooms. I was in an okay place. I was still happy but not excessive which was good because I didn't want everyone staring at me more than the strippers because I was acting retarded. I finally looked back at Matt and gestured for him to come up and sit by me and he jolted over. I told him I was leaving soon and he could come with me back to Brian's. He said he would check it out with his guys. When he came back he said that he really shouldn't go that far in the storm in case he couldn't make it home for his flight the next day. I didn't try and convince him or anything I just said that was fine and for him to have a good night. He kept grabbing my hand pleading with me to stay or go with him back to his hotel. He was so hot I couldn't resist playing with the idea. I eventually told him after Eddy's I would get a cab back to room 405, he even saved it in my phone for me. As I was putting my coat on, he kept quizzing me where I was going, I said "Room 405 at the Murray Premises". "I didn't tell you what hotel I was staying in, how did you know it was the Murray Premises?". Opps. The only reason I knew that was because I did the exact same thing a month ago with another military guy. They always put the military guys in the Murray Premises cause its the nicest. I quickly told him I only knew because I've talked to military guys here before and thats always where they said they stay, which was true. But I think he had an idea.

Once we got a cab to Eddys the effects of the shrooms had pretty much vanished so it was time for everyone to eat another one. Which we all did. This one didn't affect me half as much as the first one. It just seemed like the booze had finally hit me and I was just a sleepy drunk. I fell asleep on the couch for a little bit, while the girls continued dancing in brians kitchen. I got up after 20 minutes or so and went out and put on my PJ's. Then Erin decided to call it a night and get a cab home. Vic and I were on the fence about going. I really didn't want to go home, but the idea of my own bed was nice. The idea of Matts bed was also very nice but I decided not to go for some strange reason. While I was debating if I would go get in the cab or not, it had already left so it looks like we were staying. I really couldn't keep my eyes open at this point. I felt like I had taken gravol and they were kicking in. But I still felt kinda weird and drunk. I drunk called Jake but he was just being boring and really didn't want to talk to me on the phone and had no problem hiding that. I was sure to send him a "your an asshole" text once i hung up. Vic had already thrown the towel in and was lying on the couch when I returned in the kitchen. I decided to follow tout suite and retreated upstairs to the spare bedroom. The night was definitely a success and I had so much fun. I feel like I should be taking shrooms every morning upon waking up if that's how happy it would make me. This artificial happiness is eventually going to lead into some type of depression. Im going to want to do drugs all the time so I will have that constant feeling of happiness with me at all times, it only makes sense that that would happen. But im going to worry about that when the time comes.

What What In The Butt

After the airport sheenanigans it was nice to get to indiana and go into the hotel and just relax. It had been an exciting enough day for me. So I rented a a Cadillac SRX crossover, because I enjoy pretending that i'm rich. The funny thing is when I got behind the wheel I was a nervous wreck. If I crash this car I might as well go with it. So I became the most cautious driver ever and went straight to the hotel. I wouldn't even stop for food, I had to get pizza delivered to my room. Jake didn't get off work until 10pm and it was only 5pm. Most normal people would go out for a drive or something in the nice car they rented and were paying a fortune for. But nope not I, I crawled in that bed and watched movies till Jake arrived.

Time always stands still when you want it to fly by. I didn't even bother putting on any makeup or trying to do my hair really. I brushed my teeth, thats was about all the preparation he got. When he got here I was already almost naked, just leaving a pair of underwear on. I had ordered him a pizza cause hes always starving, of course he immediately dug into the pizza and not me. But thats okay cause I appreciate good food too. After he was done eating we didn't jump right into the sex.. well we gave it about 10 minutes or so of spooning.. until my underwear had slipped off along with all of jakes clothes. But we didnt change positions or anything we stayed spooning then I realized what was going to happen. What hes been talking about doing since I first met him. What what in the butt.. But little did he know I was ready for it. I had prepared myself for this 3 nights ago with the other Jake from Indiana. The other Jake had a much smaller dick though so it still wasn't the same, it was just like a test trail. So I didn't stop him from going for it to his pleasant surprise. It was taking forever it actually work it in, and it didn't excatly feel good. We didn't have any lube or anything so it took quite a long time. He was very gentlemanly about it and took his time and didn't try and do it quickly. It hurt a fair bit but he continued kissing and my neck back and face in such a cute way that I managed to tolerate the pain. After 20 minutes or so it was finally a little more than halfway in. And obviously felt good enough for Jake to finish. I think he just has a fasination about cuming inside without having a to wear a condom, which any guy would I suppose. I would let him do that in my vagina I wouldnt care. I would love to have his baby, he would never be able to escape me then. Which is probably a big reason why he's never done that. Well, almost never.

After having sex multiple times in the bed, on the counter, on the window ledge and on the floor it was about time to say goodnight. When you have floor burn on your knees, elbows, face, I think it's safe to throw the towel in and say it was a good night. Of course the douchebag wasn't going to sleep over though. He wanted to go back to his house cause he said he wouldn't actually sleep if he stayed over for the full night. Which is partially true, but still its clearly an excuse. I fly all the way to see him but he cant stay for the night. Even though hes up until 4am or 5am anyways when hes at home. But when I come he has a new rule that he needs to start going to bed by 2am or 3am. He had a gym date scheduled for the morning and then had to work at 2pm. Didn't look like much time to see him, but he said when he got back from the gym he would call me right away so I could go to his house, for the first time. I entertained myself the next morning by visiting Burlington Coat factory. Its my favorite place to shop in the world, cheap clothes but great brandnames. Although I ended up buying 134$ worth of shirts for Jake, one shirt for Tammy, and I stole a shirt for me. Funny how that works out. Im so stingy with my money when it comes to myself, I hate spending money. But when it comes to other people i'm the most giving person in the whole world. So I wore my stolen shirt right out of the store cause I liked it better than the orignal one I had on. When Jake called I drove to the other side of town to his house and surprised him with a big bag of shirts. He tried each and everyone one of them on and they all looked great on him. Of course I went all out and bought him either Sean John, Rocawear or LGN clothes. He was very gracious, like he should be. Told me I shouldn't of done that, but whatever I like doing nice things for people. We only had 30 mins or so before he had to get to work so we said our goodbyes and I went on my merry way. Will anything change between us when I go home? Probably not. Actually definitely not. Will I still be obsessive about Jake or will that stop now? I can't imagine that stopping anytime soon. Unfortunately.

I need to find a boyfriend asap when I get home.

Cocaine Jane

I booked a new flight for Sunday. That gave me all day saturday to sleep and recover from my coked out night. I was excited to get to Fort Wayne and see Jake, that was the only reason I was motivated to leave. He ended up calling me after the night I told him I would be there, and texted a few times. So all was forgiven. The sex was too good to stay mad anyways.

I packed my bags Saturday night. Mitch sat in the room giving me numerous reasons why I should stay in California. They were quite convincing. In 5 years you will need a degree to work at McDonalds, why bother. I was not looking forward to spending another full day in an airport either. Especially with the all the extra security and line ups. When I was going over everything i found my coke bag. Jesus!! I can't imagine if I left that in there going through security. "Yeah well they scan all your cards and they can find traces on those as well. For up to 72 hours after you use it!" Mitch chimed in. Yeah right. That's never happened. He's full of shit anyways.

We put my suitcase downstairs in the lobby because I have to leave at 4:30am and don't want to make noise bringing it down. A few people are in the movie room so we go in as well. I sat next to Kyle, the manager of the hostel. He is a sweet Australian, not very cute but personality makes him more attractive. He started playing with my hair and i immediately started falling asleep and not watching the movie. How sweet of him, if I had a big brother I would want him to be like Kyle. I keep drifting in and out, my head rolling back and forth as I tried to force myself to stay awake. I feel a cold breeze on my lower back which makes me perk up a bit. Then I get goosebumps shooting up and down my arms and legs. Kyle's hand is sliding down pants straight toward my vagina. You can't be serious. I look at him and his head is turned the opposite way while his fingers are at my inner thighs at this point. Do I make it awkward and make him stop? Or do I just let him. With Lesley's lecture in the back of my head about self-respect, i whipped his hand out of my pants and abruptly got up and exited the room. "Wife, where you going wife?" Mitch wasn't long chasing after me. I didn't bother telling him the real reason I got up, he probably would of went in and bitch slapped kyle and made things incredibly awkward. Instead I just tell him I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. He crawls in to my single bed with me and we share our last 4 hours together.

I wake up at 5:08am. Fuck!!!! My flight leaves at 6:25am plus a 15 minute ride to the airport. Why do I always miss flights? I jump out of bed, grab my purse and dial the cab company. After what seems like eternity the cab finally pulls up and I jump in telling him to go as fast as possible. Theres no traffic so we make excellent timing. I get to the airport 5:32am. They were just about to stop taking passengers! Thank god. Something goes my way for once. I quicken my pace into a fast walk as I head for security. Looks like i'm one of the only people here. I start taking off my shoes and a security officer comes over with a wand of some sort with a cloth at the end saying she needs a hand sample. A what?? I've never heard of it before. So I flip my hand over and she wipes the cloth of the palm of my hand and fingers then smiles and goes into a little room behind the security stand. How many times have I washed my hands since I was doing coke? I have a bad habit of never washing my hands. Manny always said it would catch up to me. Two new heads pop up from the room, followed by the woman that took my sample. She nodded her head at the men and they stalked over in my direction. Jesus, act normal Ashley. I could feel my face burning as I visualized myself getting thrown in jail for life. "Could you show me your id or passport please?", the first guy, the meaner looking man asked. I fumbled around in my purse and handed him my passport. He stared at it for a few seconds then said he was going to have to search my purse. Oh god. I didn't wash off my cards after using them to crush the coke. I couldn't help but let a groan escape my lips. Both the men shot me a quizzical look and went back to rummaging through my purse.

"Why do you have 2 wallets in here?". I totally forgot that not only did I have my wallet in my purse, I also stole my sisters wallet and had hers in there as well. I had my license in her wallet and her license in mine (For when I go to the car rental and show them her license pretending its mine). I quickly explained that I was just on vacation with my sister and she left her wallet so I took it for her. That was an easy lie that was totally believable. They opened up my wallet and looked at the license and looked at me, after a few seconds he threw that one back in the purse realizing that must of been my sisters. Then he picked up Leannes wallet, seen my drivers license in it and took that in the room. The other security guard grabbed my purse and did a through inspection of that, giving up after 3 or 4 minutes of finding nothing but dirty tissues, sticky lipgloss, old food wrappers, few condoms. Nothing illegal. He went in the room and for a second, came out with a disappointed look on his face followed by the other officer. He handed me "my" wallet with the cards all removed and laid in a circular bowl. He muttered something about a routine inspection and walked off towards the little room. I finally let out a loud breath. I was covered in beads of sweat. The other security guards had all been staring at me the whole time as I stood at the end of the conveyer waiting for them to come back for my arrest.

Soon as I get through the 25 minute security I run to the gate. I was already late and this made it even worse. If I wasn't sweating before i was certainly sweating now. I smacked off every person with my carry on bag and purse until I finally made it to my seat. I kept my purse in my lap. When i'm finally sitting with my seat belt on I tear open my purse and grab my wallet. I pull out my visa card and sure enough just like I remember, every number on the card has a white sugar coating. The card had enough coke on it for a small rip. Honestly ever number and my name looked like someone painted white fringes on it. For once in my life I sat there thanking god for how lucky I was. If security searched both wallets like they should of, I would be in jail. Phew.

Dancing Queen

The next day I get up and everything is pretty normal. I go down and get our complimentary breakfast of pancakes and stale toast then mope around the hostel for the day. The weather was shit again so I wasn't in the mood to go anywhere like LA or Hollywood. Around 4pm I was bored and ready to pull my hair out so I went up to play on my laptop. Decided to check my emails and facebook. Oh look my confirmation email for mine and Jake's flights tomorrow. FEB OF 2011?!?! What?! That can't be right. There's no way I was stupid enough to not only pick the wrong month for the flight, but the wrong year as well?! Who does that? Drunk Ashley does that. You should never book a flight drunk.

I run downstairs cradling my laptop like a baby and everyone is sitting on the porch. I tell them what I did. Everyone dies laughing at what an idiot I am, even Jake. Most people are happy because they don't want me to leave anyways. I call the airline and manage to talk my way into getting a full refund. That killed an hour though. Now what? Should I book another ticket for tomorrow? Or should I just go to the airport tomorrow and try to get on my original flight which left this morning? hmm. Ill think it over for a few minutes.

While i'm trying to make this cruical decision, in walks matt with my 2 grams of coke. Timing couldn't of been better. I grab Mitch and pull him in the room to do 2 crankers. Instantly the stress of my flights goes away and I just want to party. Everyone at the hostel always wants to party but no one ever has any money to drink. No fear, coked out Ashley is here. Off I go to the liqour store and I buy 8 cases of beer and 2 40 oz's of vodka. Let the drinking begin! Me and mitch walk in with all the booze and everyone starts cheering. Two hours in to beer pong I was fucked dancing on tables out back all dressed up and ready to go. I was starting to think that I would just drop out of school and stay here for the semester and keep putting my living expenses on my credit cards. Around 11 we got kicked out of the hostel so it was time to move this party to the bars.
No one wanted to leave just yet so I grabbed Mitch and made him come with me. I had a trail of 6 guys from the hostel that were following me wanting coke donations. I hardly gave any away though, i'm greedy when it comes to my coke.
MItch and I are walking down the road and don't really know which way we were going to get to the dance club. I spotted someone pulling up in a nice car so I danced my way over. The door opens and its a big beautiful black man. Maybe im dreaming? Nope it was a beautiful tall black guy from the Caribean. He was living here now and didn't take long to convince me to head to the club with him. I turn around and MItch was gone! The fucker was jetting it down the road as quick as his legs would carry him. We have a rule about not cock-blocking each other, but jesus he could of waited a few minutes at least.
I walk in with Nick and soon enough his homeboys all walked over, I felt like a black magnetic force field. Not only them, but I got hit on about 25 times. This never happens? I was loving it though. I went to take a dancing break and soon as i headed for the bar this older, whiter, plumper guy named Jason came over and insisted he buy me a drink. So I let him, and before long he asks if I do coke, then we realized we were both fucked up on it, he invited me a block down to do some at his friends house. He said we could go right back to the bar afterwards if I wanted so I said, "When in rome!" and left. 8 black guys quickly followed me towards the door so I told them I was just going for a smoke and I would be back.

He took me to a really nice condo just down the road from the bar. A smokin hot blonde girl opens the door and her and her boyfriend were the only ones there. So the 4 of us just continued drinking and doing coke. I liked Suzanne way more than Jason so I was quite content with just making out with her for the night. Finally when their coke ran out it was time to go, Jason wanted me to go back to his house but it was 3am and I just wanted to go back to hostel. I didn't know the hostel code though to open the door. Oh well, someone would be up awake to let me in. We finally arrived and theres no one. Not a soul around, and I dont have anyones phone number to even call and wake up. Back to Jasons it was.

We seriously just stayed up in his living room doing my coke that I had left which was probably a gram. He was really funny and talkative. But when im like that I dont want to be around a stranger in their house, I would much prefer to be on my grounds. He was continually trying to convince me to let him go down on me, or get me in the shower. I told him flat out when I do coke I do not want to be touched at all. So when we had finished it all I was freezing cold like I always get and just wanted to try and sleep. I was supposed to go the airprot in a few hours to try and get on a standby. We got in bed and he wouldn't stop touching me. The more and more I sobered up the more I started thinking he was an ugly old creepy man and decided to call a cab. He was half pissed at this point and didn't really care cause he finally realized he wasn't going to get anything anyways. I still didn't know how I was going to get inside. It was still only 6am, and I just had a little dress on. So I got out of the cab and threw rocks and the windows, and bawled out loud hoping someone would hear with no avail. So I sat on the sidewalk next to a bum and curled up with him and slept for about 30 minutes. I opened my eyes to see Deb our cook dying laughing at me. She was just getting back to the hostel so she scoped me up and dragged me into the hostel. the whole dress stunk like ass and cigerettes and garbage. It was the bum aroma for sure.

I crawled into my room and punched mitch in the arm hard to wake him up and curse him out for leaving me. Then went to sleep for a couple hours. Woke up at 10am and rushed like a mad woman to the airport to try and get on standby. No go. No flights go to fort wayne only one and it was solid booked including standby. Looks like im not going to make the wedding. Back to the hostel I go.

Does Anyone Have A New Belt I Could Borrow?

The weather sucks. It's been raining everyday since I arrived. The streets are constantly getting flooded and the Oceanbeach pier might get washed out, that hasn't happened in the last 25 years. I would pick the one week that they have straight rain to come for my sun getaway. The past 2 days have been pretty low key, Monday Shane and I went on a trolley to downtown San Diego. It wasn't very nice. There was 2 blocks that were filled with restaurants and bars but other than that it was just big ugly buildings and homeless people everywhere. Maybe the city seemed disfigured and unsightly because the sky was grey and I was constantly getting drenched by the rain. Who knows, but I wasn't impressed. I was feeling like shit for drinking so much the night, so after dinner I crawled in my bed and got a good night sleep. God knows I needed it.

Tuesday didn't bring much animation either. I hung out at the hostel all day with Mitch and the boys. We wandered Ocean Beach for a little while but the rain was definitely putting a damper on things. We started drinking around 4, there was nothing better to do. I went looking for some drugs with Scottie, one of the guys who works here. He took me on a wild goose chase. There was a bit of making out and groping on this little adventure but that was it. I was intoxicated and that generally means anything goes. When I realized nothing would come of our adventure and no one in the area carried any 'white cobra' they call it here, I came back. My interest with Scottie went out the door as Shane reappeared from the bar. We didn't waste much time before heading to our luxurious room. The sex wasn't as good as the first night, it was just ok. Scottie kept roaming the hallways looking for me so it was a little awkward I didn't want him to hear anything, and Mitch was continually entering the room showering me with gifts like lube, drinks, pizza. When the pizza came it was game over for Shane I jumped out of the top bunk and had a feed of greek pizza. Then went to sleep without finishing the job I started with him. Oh well.

The next morning Shane and I said our goodbye. Wasn't anything upsetting just a quick hug and a good luck on your travels. Another day of rain yesterday. This was starting to get depressing. I came all this way for rain. I bought a few new dresses on the strip because new clothes generally makes me feel better. But even that wouldn't do it for me. If clothes won't make me feel better, booze definitely will. Off I go to the liqour store. It was 12:30pm. Picked up a 40 of vodka and a case of beer for myself and Mitch. Let the drinking begin.

After a few rounds of beer pong, and a few more chugging contests I was drunk. A new guy named Jake walked in and introduced himself. He was super cute, adorable eyes. He was 6"4, curly brown hair, baby face. Punky or skater boy category. Haven't done that one in a while. So we get talking and turns out he got stranded here. He was going on a quick road trip from Indiana when his friends car broke down in Texas. They managed to hitchhike to California and heard about a cheap hostel where you could work 3 hours a day and stay for free. He had 5$ to his name and family is poor and couldn't send any money to get home. His plan was to try and bum some money like the rest of the homeless people and get enough to get a ticket home. So my great idea was to buy him a ticket home. My flight left Thursday at 12pm but I wasn't planning on going on a trek after drinking so much. So I booked us 2 tickets to leave Friday morning at 6am. Thats what happens when I get drunk, I try and buy boyfriends. He has never been on a plane before so he was extremely excited. It would be nice to have some company traveling, i'm always by myself when I go anywhere. After another couple hours of excessive drinking myself and Jake made our way to my bed. He was 21, i'm used to older boys but he was full of energy so it worked. We had one condom so we made that last for about an hour. Was that long enough? I was game for longer, so was he. But i'm being a good girl and not using a condom was an option. So we used the other hole instead. It took about 25 minutes to work it in, we had no lube so we used Alo Vera. Yeah I'm serious. It was painful at first but after a while and a full bottle of Alo it was okay. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it, but it was okay. I ran across the hall to pee and clean myself up. I ran out half naked with some shirt on backwards. When I opened up the door there was Scottie knocking on my door. Fuck!! Do not answer the door Jake. When he seen me leaving the bathroom he walked over trying to touch me and kiss me. Nooo I probably smelt like sex and penis so I tried to stay a foot away. The only way he would leave was if I was a total bitch to him so I did what I had to do and told him to fuck off I'm not interested in him and he stormed off. Phew. When I finally got sick of having sex I kicked Jake out of the room so I could go to sleep. He could go forever and I wasn't having it. I've reached my limit, im done.

I wake up with hands all over me stripping me off the little clothes I have on. Mitch fuck off!!!! Get out of my bed I want to sleep. Not Mitch. Who was it but my roomate Egor. We were flirting the past few days but I thought it was harmless flirting. I didn't think he would act on it. Egor was from Slovaquie, good looking tall bald guy. I didn't know what to really do. I was still hammered and didn't know how to stop him. I kind of wanted to but thats so bad, I was already with Jake. We had to be extremely quiet cause Will and Mitch were both asleep in our room. He had a big dick so that was how I made the decision to go with the flow and have a good time. I'm on vacation so i'm allowed to be a whore right? We couldn't barely move without it being extremely noisey so he had the great idea to go across the hall to the bathroom. So we quietly left the room and and fucked in the bathroom for 10 minutes before I started sobering up. I did not want to be there. I kept thinking about the new notches on my belt that I really didn't need. I was surprisingly sick of having sex too. I've had more sex this week in the past 6 months and my vagina did not know how to handle it. It was still working in full force but my mind and body weren't agreeing. I had to jet it. Out of no where I grabbed my pants and told him I couldn't do it I was sick and I needed to sleep. "Ashley noo I'm almost done, please whats wrong". He couldn't say anything to make me stay there. I felt dirty and I needed out. At least I could escape to the privacy of my own bedroom right? Ha wrong. He was still going to be 2 feet away from him. I ran across the hall and jumped in bed. Pulled the curtains across my bed and hoped he wouldn't try again. He entered shortly after, I could tell how pissed off he was without having to use words. Oh well I want sleep. It looks like I didn't finish 2 jobs in one night, I better not use them for references.

Today is a brand new day. I plan on keeping a low profile until mine and Jakes adventure tomorrow to Indiana. Should be an interesting 12 hours together.